The Fiercely Mavericky Independence of Kindly Grandpa Walnuts

You may have seen John McCain — adhering to the longstanding principle since May 2017 that losing presidential candidates should permanently vanish from public life — attempt to ask questions of FBI director James “I’m outraged that the Russians tried to tamper in a presidential election — that’s my job!” Comey today. Because he is very mavericky, he attempted to divert the inquiry into the question of Hillary Clinton’s EMAILS! Because he is a doddering crank, however, he was incapable of asking questions coherent enough to make this point clearly. As best as I can piece them together, his two main points were “why isn’t there an inquiry into Hillary Clinton’s collusion with Russian attempts to throw the election to Donald Trump” and “if the FBI has closed an investigation, it is a double standard to have any other investigations, and is that an onion on your belt?” It was painful to watch.

It’s an embarrassment that this man is in the United States Senate, and while it’s always been embarrassing that the media spent decades fawning over his imaginary independence his acting as Donald Trump’s caddy at the beginning of a six-year term he was elected to as an 80-year-old really makes it clear how badly he conned so many reporters. But at least we get some good one-liners out of it:

John McCain getting progressively more frustrated as he tries to make an ATM deposit at a Dairy Queen drive-thru.

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 8, 2017

McCain: your investigation of John Dillinger is over but the one into Russian interference is still open. Double standard!

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) June 8, 2017

in this moment, John McCain truly became president

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) June 8, 2017

mccain is the "i have a comment, and a question" guy at a book reading

— Max Read (@max_read) June 8, 2017

UPDATE: John McCain was just tired from mainlining Cutty Sark watching Diamondbacks baseball and his very intelligent questions just went over your heads, so neener-neener!