Neither seriously nor literally

Apparently its not just reporters and anti-anti-Trump cranks who mistake (or “mistake”) Trump’s frequent dishonesty for secret agreement with them on issues when all evidence suggests that none exists:

Donald Trump’s tariff threats have triggered a behind-the-scenes lobbying campaign to soften or alter the president-elect’s plans. But the effort faces a potentially insurmountable roadblock: Trump isn’t budging.

That has left business executives scratching their heads about how to lobby for exemptions from the steep tariffs Trump has promised on imports from China, Canada, Mexico and other countries. 

So far, executives are facing setbacks as they canvass Trump’s aides for advice on how to influence the president-elect’s next steps. Trump is largely acting on his own, leaving his incoming team of advisers with few opportunities to shape his thinking. His recent late-night social-media statements about tariffs have come with little warning even to some of his closest allies, according to people familiar with the matter.

Trump’s team has told corporate consultants there is no waving the president-elect off his plans to make liberal use of tariffs once he gets into office, the people said. 

With Inauguration Day less than two months away, companies based in the U.S. and around the world are weighing the possibility that Trump will follow through on many of his campaign-trail warnings, potentially triggering a multifront trade war that economists warn could increase prices for consumers. Across-the-board tariffs would have major implications for businesses, potentially raising costs for U.S.-based companies that import products from abroad. 

Needless to say, Trump’s most supine cronies will get exceptions — another major issue with these massive tariffs is that they’re a vehicle for massive corruption even by Trump standards. But these will be arbitrarily doled out, and for everyone else once again there will be no refunds. But, hey, at least some poor people might lose their healthcare and some women will die of sepsis in hotel parking lots!