The Scourge of Lesbian Penguins
By
Vice President JD Vance has been ordered “to work to eliminate improper, divisive, or anti-American ideology from the Smithsonian and its museums, education and research centers, and the National Zoo.”
The order is not explicit, but it is likely that one of the improper things that Vance will root out at the National Zoo will be any same-sex penguin couples. Both male and female penguins have coupled to raise chicks. In one case, a male pair stole eggs from a female pair. But that was at a Dutch Zoo. In Spain, Electra and Viola have raised chicks together.
Closer to home, a female penguin, Green Bean, at Kentucky’s Newport Aquarium, brings a toy to her partner, Randi, on the nest. Ahem, Rob! Or Roy and Silo in New York’s Central Park Zoo.
Subversive interpretations imply that such behavior is natural. We cannot have our children exposed to such things.
Clearly this is the sort of improper and divisive behavior that Our Vice President will make sure never happens at the National Zoo.