NFL Open Thread: the man who had everything but what he wanted edition

At a time in which there is very little good news, it’s nice to see a story whose every word can be read with immense pleasure:

But now Snyder is a ghost: The new-look Commanders are not only led by first-time general manager Adam Peters, new head coach Dan Quinn and sensational rookie quarterback Jayden Daniels, but they also have a new ownership group, led by Josh Harris and his Harris Blitzer Sports & Entertainment.

At the London dinner, Snyder, 60, was polite, if not subdued, and did things the associates had come to expect, such as ordering almost everything on the menu. Snyder said that he was enjoying a quiet existence, mostly in London. Life was better for his family, far from the controversies that had engulfed him and the team the past several years. Talk inevitably turned to the improving Commanders, already off to a strong start. When one associate returned to the United States, a colleague asked him the question that’s been on the minds of many fans and league executives:

What’s it like for Snyder, for years the most hated owner in sports, to watch the Commanders succeed without him?

“He f—ing hates it,” Snyder’s dinner companion told the colleague.

Neither Snyder nor any of his representatives responded to interview requests from ESPN. But according to league sources, team owners, sports executives, lawyers and others with knowledge of his current status, some of whom requested anonymity to discuss sensitive legal matters, Snyder has recast much of his life since he sold the Commanders under duress 19 months ago.

[…]

SNYDER NEVER WANTED to sell, even after putting the Commanders up for sale. Few people outside the league, Harris’ company, or the Commanders organization know that he tried desperately to blow up the sale at the last minute.

Beautiful. Exquisite.

A narrow reading reconciling this with the general political times is that Dan Snyder fucked up so badly and so often to make himself a pariah among NFL owners — despite sharing their typical reactionary political views and anti-player orientation — and still walked away with more than $5 billion in profit. But here’s the thing — Snyder was already rich enough to live on a yacht instead of one of his many mansions to avoid the authorities. He was already at a level of wealth where further windfalls are relevant only as a method of scorekeeping. And no amount of money he could have received for selling the Commanders* could have stopped this from being a huge L for him. Choke on it, fucko!

*Gee, I wonder what the redacted word was:

“He isn’t a fan of other sports,” one source said. “He’s a fan of the [Commanders]. That was the biggest thing.”

For today, with the reminder that when you’re right 70% of the time you’re wrong 30% of the time:

Washington (+6.5) v. Philadelphia: I would love the Commanders to win for the reasons seen above. Daniels is a marvel. But especially with Da’Ron Payne — their best run defender — out, though, I expect the Eagles to grind another one out. But my “I wouldn’t lay more than 3 points on the Eagles until they prove Hurts is healthy enough to throw for 100 yards” theory has gone 2-0 in the playoffs, so I’ll stick with it.

America’s Team v. Not the Goddamned Chiefs Again (-1.5) Looking at their body of work over the whole season, the Bills should probably be favored outright. OTOH, the Chiefs have looked a lot better in meaningful games for the last few weeks than they did in the first half of the season+, and “I’ll believe the Chiefs won’t cover a spread of less than 3 in a critical game when I see it” is a theory that has made me a lot of actual cash money over the last couple years, so I’ll stick with it. PROVE ME WRONG BILLS, PROVE ME WRONG.