Movie Check in; A Few Quick Reviews
By Red One
Did not love it. The story–which could have been compelling–falls flat, with a mostly unfunny script and EXTREMELY iffy CGI. Seriously, for a movie starring Chris Evans, The Rock, and J K Simmons, I was shocked by some of the cheesy special effects. For shame.
That said, I did enjoy the reimagining of Santa and Santa’s operation for a modern world. I thought J K Simmons was really charming as Santa, and I loved the design of the reindeer. The movie needed much more Santa and his reindeer and much less of everything else.
Cuckoo
While I appreciated the beautiful animation and special effects in this film about not letting grief turn you into a monster, I thought that some of the dialogue was clunky and felt like we’ve seen the “bad alien falls from space but is redeemed by a partnership with Sonic” story before, and if this sounds like a review of “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” that’s because “Cuckoo” is so terrible I’d rather talk about cartoon hedgehogs designed for children than his abomination of a film, a film I’m certain was designed for people with brain damage.
What I’m saying is take your kids to see “Sonic the Hedgehog 3” and let *me* live with the wretched pain and anger “Cuckoo” instilled in me.
The Substance
This movie is dark, depressing, and bleak. It is also occasionally morbidly funny. But above all, it is stylish. It is fantastic to look at: great cinematography, memorable wardrobe, and some absolutely STUNNING sets. I got lost in the sets. I got lost in the long shots. I got lost in the long, winding halls.
I loved the nods to the ’80’s in many of the stylistic choices. I loved that the story was told in the broadest, boldest of strokes; I loved how so much of it felt like a fever dream, a surreal, gorgeous, hideous fantasy.
I do think the last act went a hair too long, but otherwise, I found “The Substance” compelling and disturbing, and the performances of Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley are fantastic. It’s likely one of the best films of ’24. (I am still getting caught up and evaluating.)