Actually the Onion
By 
We will return to the decline and fall of the American republic shortly, but let us retain the capacity to savor good news when we get it:
The satirical newspaper The Onion has successfully acquired Infowars and its associated intellectual property, finally divesting conspiracy theorist Alex Jones of the right-wing disinformation outfit.
According to Oliver Darcy’s Status newsletter, the deal grants The Onion ownership of Infowars’ “website, product inventory, customers lists, social media accounts, and intellectual property.”
In a series of lawsuits adjudicated in 2022, Jones was ordered to pay $1.5 billion to the families of Sandy Hook victims over his repeated false claims that the 2012 massacre of children at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut was a hoax. In September, a Texas judge ruled that Jones’ assets — including the Infowars properties — could be auctioned off in order to pay the penalties owed by Jones.
It is not yet clear how much The Onion paid to acquire one of the most toxic properties in American media, but the publication stated on Thursday that it’s “goal with the acquisition is to end Infowars’ relentless barrage of disinformation for the sake of selling supplements and replace it with The Onion‘s relentless barrage of humor for good.”
Jones did not seem happy about the news in a video posted after the acquisition was announced, referring to The Onion, which is based in Chicago, as “Connecticut Democrats,” while complaining about the bidding process.
As the “Connecticut Democrats” lines indicates, this is being done in collaboration with Sandy Hook parents and their gin control organization, which is even better.