Run for the Border

Here’s an event that exists:

It has been described as Urban Legend. More mysterious and barking spiders than the Barkley Marathons. The International Taco Bell 50k boasts a higher DNF rate than the famed Leadville 100 Trail Race. The lore of the genesis for the race dates back to a hot tub, stoic Russian, short king from New York and Susie. The race has been held annually in Denver, Colorado in early October, which coincidentally coincides with International Taco Day. It is a good idea to engage in gastric training. If you complete the challenge, you will be deemed a SURVIVOR, revered and heckled for life!

Race Rules

1. Be present at all 10 Taco Bell stops along the courses. Zero tolerance for course cutting.
2. Eat a menu item from at least 9 of the 10 Taco Bell stops.
3. By the 4th stop, all entrants must have consumed at least one (1) Chalupa Supreme or one Crunchwrap Supreme (dietary restrictions will be allowed within reason).
4. By the 8th stop, all entrants must have consumed at least one (1) Burrito Supreme or one Nachos Bell Grande (dietary restrictions will be allowed within reason).
5. Finish under 11 hours.
6. Drinks do not count as food.
7. Entrants must keep all receipts and wrappers for confirmation of stupidity at the end of the run.
8. An off-course bathroom break will be allowed at Wash Park.
9. SURVIVORS will eventually get a commemorative item after successful completion of the run.
10. If you intend to participate, RSVP your statement of intent. ONCE YOU RSVP, YOU ARE IN. THIS IS LIKE THE GOBLET OF FIRE.
11. No on-course Pepto, Alka Seltzer, Pepcid A/C, Mylanta will be allowed!
12. Additional “rules” may be added, amended, or changed to promote the intent of this run, which is to do something completely stupid.
13. Congratulations?

Congratulations indeed?