The Vance Rules
By 
One of the most important stories to hit American politics since someone asked the State Department for diplomatic passports and were turned down is surely J.D. Vance’s history of having sex with couches:
Whether it's true or not that JD Vance fucked a couch, the fact that many people have questions regarding whether JD Vance fucked a couch should be concerning enough for him to address it.
If he did not fuck a couch, then why hasn’t he denied it yet? Really makes you think… https://t.co/vcp0l1tBwB— Centrism Fan Acct (@Wilson__Valdez) July 25, 2024
This is not going to make this scandal go away. Clouds have been cast. Questions linger over the Vance campaign. Shadows have been raised. It’s out there. It goes to the doubts voters have about Vance. What does it say that people think it could be true? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
I also have a big scoop: Lawyers, Guns & Money has gotten its hands on a major new piece of investigative journalism, VANCE COUCH FUCKING, produced in collaboration with the Butteigeig Institute For Anti-Vance Studies. This will raise even more questions about Couchghazi. If this book did not, strictly speaking, uncover any evidence for Vance’s history of engaging in sexual congress with chesterfields, this is just more evidence of his corruption and perfidy. The cover-up is worse than the crime.
Happy IVF day!
