There’s a club and you’re not in it

Kathleen Parker has an op-ed that reads like the product of an AI query along the lines of “Write a parody of a DC journalist using a completely irrelevant social connection to push an incestuous in-group narrative, that dismisses a massive scandal as just so much hand-wringing by people who don’t understand the Kind of People We Are.”

Martha-Ann’s flag, first hoisted at her home a few days after Jan. 6, initially sparked only the ire of a neighbor. Perhaps the neighbor has reason to dislike Martha-Ann, who is funny, feisty, unfiltered and the life of any party, according to mutual friends and my limited impression of her. She and I met at a meet-and-greet when the Alitos moved to Washington years ago. Almost immediately, Martha-Ann enthusiastically invited me to be her walking partner.

So, okay, maybe Martha-Ann is a tad impulsive. Alas, we never got together. I assume someone whispered in her ear that long, chatty walks with a Post columnist might not be such a good idea. Oh, but it would have been.

There follows several hundred words of absolute nonsense, that accept Samuel Alito’s transparent lies about these incidents as unquestionable truths, even after those lies have been definitely demolished, no thanks to Parker’s employer.

Speaking of which, Parker has the weapons-grade chutzpah to puzzle over why the upside down flag incident is only becoming a story now, three years later. The answer, for those not scoring at home, is that Parker’s own newspaper chose to bury the story at the time.

Nor is there a word in the column about the judicial code of ethics, which basically everybody not too busy giving sloppy blow jobs to Donald Trump agrees Alito violated in the most egregious way, by allowing the upside down flag to be flown on his property, fifteen minutes after an insurrectionist mob stormed the capital. Hey but Parker finds it very credible that Sam Alito simply didn’t notice that a giant US flag was flying upside down for several days in front of his own house, that he lives in. Workaholic men are so busy and clueless dontcha know. And if a Supreme Court justice were to notice something like this and tell his wife not to do it, that would be like totally sexist, so checkmate libz:

My workaholic husband is so busy in his own cloud that he couldn’t tell you where I am or what I’m doing on any given day. I could hang a flag from his car antenna, and he wouldn’t see it. I used to joke that it took him two years to notice that I had moved to Washington, D.C.

I love this about him because I love freedom. I wouldn’t be surprised if Martha-Ann and countless other lucky women feel the same.

Basically the story here is the same as it ever was: I enjoy socializing with this person, or I would enjoy it if I did, since we know the same people and they’re all just really really nice, so the idea that they might actually be really really terrible people is unpossible, because that would mean that I’m kind of a terrible person when I think about it, which I therefore will take extreme measures to avoid ever doing at all costs.

I really and truly would like to ask Kathleen Parker how she can fail to see how pathetic she sounds. This column is “I met somebody at a cocktail party so I’m not going to treat their obviously self-serving claims with any skepticism. I am an award-winning journalist.”