You could actually make movies with this talent

I recently saw a preview for Marvels 33: Seems Like the Bedroom Could Use A New Coat of Paint, which looked unbelievably awful. Granted, I am also not the target audience, but apparently in this case the advertising was true:

As with a lot of studio-created girl groups, the women fronting “The Marvels” are carefully styled, wear coordinated outfits during their big numbers, have a few flashily choreographed moves and, because they’ve clearly put in the rehearsal time, know how to harmonize (more or less). The group has been created for maximum bankability, familiarity and relatability, and to that instrumental end, it delivers exactly what you expect of it and not a single thing, idea or beat more. Its members are nice, even at their most ostensibly fierce, and so unrelievedly bland that it feels like an affront, especially to all the women here doing so much hard work.

This is the 33rd movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which continues to expand even as its cultural interest and resonance diminish. “The Marvels” will dominate the box office, of course, at least during its opening weekend, just because it will flood theaters. It’s pointless complaining, I know (believe me), but it’s frustrating what weak tea this movie is because the director, Nia DaCosta (“Little Woods,” “Candyman”), has talent, the cast is appealing, and there’s a lightly gonzo scene that shows you what the other 100 minutes could have been. It’s almost as if the suits at Marvel Studios know it doesn’t matter if their movies are any good.

It’s a shame how much skill and money Hollywood burns every year to churn out “universe” movies that will (in most cases) make enough money to set studios in the black and then nobody will remember ever having existed 6 months later, but that’s life. I’m also not looking forward to the lesson taken from the massive success of Barbie being not “we should let talented women try to pull off ambitious projects” but “we need 7 Hungry, Hungry Hippos movies (Part I. coming in 2024, dir. Zack Snyder, 413 min).”