If you want a vision of the future, imagine a tRump attorney spouting quasi-legalistic arguments, forever
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Trump’s J6 coup attempt defense team is considering a plan so cunning you could harvest turnips with it.
Step 1 involves hinting at a filing so laughable the judge would forget to have the bailiffs fling them out of the courthouse.
On CBS, an attorney representing the former president suggested to senior White House Correspondent Ed O’Keefe on Wednesday morning that West Virginia is in “close proximity” to the scene of the alleged crime — even though D.C. is actually where January 6 happened and the courhouse where it would take place directly overlooks the Capitol — and went on to suggest that West Virginia is “much more diverse” than D.C.
West Virginia is in such close proximity to D.C. that you have to drive nearly two hundred miles hours through another state to get to it. But it is close if you pretend the states that border D.C. don’t exist because they didn’t go for Tang the Merciless, which I assume is what’s happening here.
As for being more diverse, the attorney means “Diverse” in the right wing sense. As a synonym for “White and Republican.”
Step 2 file for a change of venue. Or not. They don’t have anything better to do, it fits the overarching stall-your-way-to-safety strategy, and pissing off the judge would be a bonus. But they could just keep whining that it isn’t fair to try a case where the crime occurred when the jurisdiction contains icky brown Democrats.
Step 3 involves more whining. Again, it isn’t like they have anything better to do. And it isn’t like the talking heads who interview them will laugh in their faces. And if the client receives enough “legal defense” donations, he might share some of the loot with his defense team. Hahahaha. Just kidding about that bit.
Additional cunning plans include:
- 1st Amendment claims of sublime dubiousness.
“This is the first time that political speech has been criminalized in the history of the United States,” Lauro told “CBS Mornings” a day after a federal grand jury indicted Trump on felony counts related to his efforts to remain in power after losing the 2020 U.S. presidential election.
Offer only valid for treasonous Republicans.
2. Theories of white responsibility turned up to 1100
“Not once did he [Pence] say, ‘Mr. Trump, what you’re asking me is criminal. Don’t do that,'” Lauro said.
And if Pence – speaking to a man more than 10 years his senior as he would to a naughty child – had told him murder is wrong, Dump wouldn’t have tried to get him lynched.
Off-topic comments are the product of a Republican mindset.
