phony stark’s phony guns

Thanks to commentarianians RB and jackrabbitslim I’ve taken a closer look at the bedside table picture Emu Snolk posted in the midst of some yelling about the inherent free speech destroying tyranny of refusing to give him advertising revenue.

During the first few seconds of the first glance the impression is the fucker sleeps with two guns beside his bed.

As much as a person might like to think a certain billion-dollar piece of garbage might take out itself, the fact is assholes who own guns are far more likely to kill a woman.

But then details start to emerge. And every one is funnier than the next.

First there’s the flintlock.

Is it possible it is an authentic weapon, a piece of American history that some rich douche carelessly keeps by his bed among the soda cans the cleaning crew have to pick up?

Not in that painfully patriotic presentation box it isn’t.

Then there’s the other gun-shaped object. Again at the first part of first glance, it looks threatening.

A little too threatening.

Like if tried any harder it would have tiny truck nutz dangling from the barrel (made from bullets, of course). Also flat. And the grip seems designed to fly apart if subjected to too much stress, which is a major design flaw in anything you hold in your hand.

And don’t guns these days tend to have triggers?

Not if they’re replicas of video game guns, they don’t.

I got bored with the replies around the “This means he’s buying Coca-Cola!” mark, so if anyone called him out for being a fake gun toting phony, I missed it. Or those Tweets were summarily deleted. For freedom.

Somewhat tangential aside – I’ve seen him referred to as Tony Stark – that’s sarcasm, right?