Is Jimmy Carter A Mass Murderer?

Sure, Angela Lansbury finally died after murdering the Queen of England, an amazing way to go for the greatest mass murderer in Maine history. But now do we have to worry about that wily old man from Georgia who is so determined to outlive his entire Cabinet that he has taken out two of them in two days? It’s irresponsible not to speculate.

First, there was Attorney General Benjamin Civiletti, who is not much remembered at all but who was a well-known investigator into ethical issues, including Billy Carter, at the time. Then the very next day, down goes Charles Duncan, Secretary of Energy and a huge figure in the administration as it tried and flailed in dealing with the energy shocks of the era.

This made me wonder who is left from the Carter Cabinet? Could he be the last one standing out of his entire administration? The answer is that it is going to be tough, but only because of Neil Goldschmidt, later the Oregon governor who is only 82. But otherwise, we are looking at the 96 year old Michael Blumenthal, a 94 year old Ray Marshall, and a a 91 year Joseph Califano. In other words, in two days, Carter went from six to four living Cabinet officials. I’d be locking myself in a bunker if I was them, fearful of the murderer from Plains.