Maybe that “shiny object” is a lit fuse

Republicans can’t stop shouting their vile thoughts into the nearest mic. Here are a couple of examples from two candidates in Virginia, starting with Jennifer Kiggans, who holds the standard Republican view on abortion: No exceptions, no matter what.

Kiggans is a state senator who is running for VA-02:

“They are trying to make that the issue to deflect, right, from all of the issues that voters really care about

“They’re trying to distract with these shiny objects like the abortion issue…”

You might think this flippant statement was made a while ago. Several months or even years ago. Certainly before Republicans in much redder states than ole Virginny started fleeing their anti-freedom positions like Grail-seeking knights running away from a rain of giant wooden rabbits and various barnyard animals, because the rage about the eradication of Roe is so hot that it is penetrating the right wing bubble.

Nah, it was a couple of days ago. Kiggans isn’t just sealed in a right wing bubble, she’s shut in a right wing lead canister at the bottom of a 100′ borehole that’s been filled in with concrete. But only metaphorically.

Democrats have been all over Kiggans self-inflicted soundbite, including Democratic incumbent Elaine Luria:

Abortion is a deeply personal decision for women in Coastal Virginia and throughout the country. A nurse should know that the right to choose is not a ‘shiny object,’ and Jen Kiggans’ dismissive comments this morning are insulting to women everywhere. Jen made clear today that politicians like her should have no place in banning reproductive health care for women, and statements like this are a reminder that Virginians can’t trust her to protect our rights and freedoms. The facts are clear: Jen Kiggans applauded the decision that overturned Roe v. Wade and stripped a generation of women of their rights and she continues to threaten the health and safety of women by allowing politicians to ban abortion in all cases.

But there’s more, of course. A month before the official release of Dobbs, Yesli Vega, who is running for VA-07, outlined how Republicans will wave away the need to allow abortions when the pregnancy results from rape and reminded everyone that Republicans are nasty garbage beings.

After expressing support for new state-level restrictions, she said, “The left will say, ‘Well what about in cases of rape or incest?’

Not sure granting that only “the left” is concerned about rape and incest victims is a good move politically (or morally). But I’m not depraved, and that’s a key requirement for being a Republican.

I’m a law enforcement officer. I became a police officer in 2011. I’ve worked one case where as a result of a rape, the young woman became pregnant.”

Even if that’s true – Lol! – so fucking what?

Vega was then asked, “I’ve actually heard that it’s harder for a woman to get pregnant if she’s been raped. Have you heard that?”

The correct answer is some variant of “Don’t be disgusting. Get the fuck out of here with that Todd Akin shit.” Being a Republican, Vega did a running slide into the Akin shit and wallowed around in it.

Well, maybe because there’s so much going on in the body. I don’t know. I haven’t, you know, seen any studies. But if I’m processing what you’re saying, it wouldn’t surprise me. Because it’s not something that’s happening organically. You’re forcing it. The individual, the male, is doing it as quickly — it’s not like, you know — and so I can see why there is truth to that. It’s unfortunate.

Yes, a Republican would think it is unfortunate that their reproductive mythology doesn’t allow them to believe that girls and women who are raped will also get pregnant. The thought of fewer girls and women enduring forced births, unwanted babies and related misery makes Republicans sad pandas.

But that’s how Republicans will decide there’s no need for a rape exception. Similar to the “If they float they’re a witch, kill them; If they drown, thank goodness they weren’t a witch” thought processes of their predecessors, Republicans will declare that rape can’t cause pregnancy, therefore a pregnant girl or woman can’t have been raped, therefore no need for an abortion.

As a bonus, they don’t have to try any rapists who impregnate their victims, and can skip to punishing their accusers, who must be lying if they’re pregnant.