But there’s no England now

It appears the Queen of England may be dying, so this is probably a tactless moment to raise the question of whether the British crown should be abolished, but that’s how we roll here at LGM (You try coming up with something interesting to say 1000 times per year).

Anyway. Back in the day, I remember when I heard a re-broadcast of a BBC announcement of the birth of Elizabeth’s first child. Some plummy disembodied accent announced “Her royal highness has given birth to . . . a prince.”

And I thought wow, a prince, that was pretty lucky all things considered. Imagine if we could do the same thing: Recently wed couple Maddie and Connor of Scarsdale announce the successful renovation of their classic mid-century modern ranch, and the birth of . . . a mid-level corporate advertising manager for Google.

I haven’t thought deeply about this (that’s your job), but I instinctively recoil from all things royal, as the whole pretentious rigamarole seems like an on balance harmful atavism, in political and social terms. I’m speaking here of the British monarchy in particular: maybe the far lower key monarchies in other places, where they keep their kings and queens but don’t seem to take it very seriously — have you ever even seen a story about the monarch of the Netherlands, assuming they still have one, which is kind of my point — are more defensible on some level.

But the continuing existence of the British royal family in all its insta-celebrity fakitude seems bad to me. It’s going to seem worse when we have to spend five days pretending like Elizabeth’s death is The Biggest Story in the World, considering what the world needs now (not another folk singer, surely).