Crazy Dersh’s Rent-A-Pardon

Give the Dersh this, unlike so many Trump lickspittles he figured out a way to clear a profit on the deal:

Given the nature of Mr. Nader’s crimes and his cooperation with the Russia investigation, his bid for clemency was a long shot that did not work out. But Mr. Dershowitz’s willingness to pull a range of levers to try to free him shows why he emerged as a highly sought-after and often influential intermediary as Mr. Trump decided who would benefit from his pardon powers.

Many of Mr. Dershowitz’s clients got what they wanted before Mr. Trump left office, an examination by The New York Times found. The lawyer played a role in at least 12 clemency grants, including two pardons, which wipe out convictions, and 10 commutations, which reduce prison sentences, while also helping to win a temporary reprieve from sanctions for an Israeli mining billionaire.

His role highlighted how Mr. Trump’s transactional approach to governing created opportunities for allies like Mr. Dershowitz — an 82-year-old self-described “liberal Democrat” who defended the president on television and in his first impeachment trial — to use the perception that they were gatekeepers to cash in, raise their profiles, help their clients or pursue their own agendas.

Mr. Dershowitz received dozens of phone calls from people seeking to enlist him in clemency efforts.

And now, the punchline:

“I’m just not a fixer or an influence peddler,” he said.

That’s the kind of comedy stylings he’s going to have to show off if he wants to be invited back onto the Martha’s Vineyard dinner party circuit.