Dumbkirk
By 
You fire the writing staff because the writing is so obvious, but nothing changes:
The authorities rescued numerous people from the waters of Lake Travis in Texas on Saturday after at least four boats sank at an event promoted as a Trump Boat Parade, officials said.
The Sheriff’s Office in Travis County received “multiple” calls of boats in distress starting at 12:15 p.m. local time, a spokeswoman, Kristen Dark, said.
Christa Stedman, a spokeswoman for Austin-Travis County Emergency Medical Services, said no injuries had been reported.
Firefighters pulled “numerous” people out of the water, said Braden Frame, president of the Lake Travis Fire Fighters Association. It was not clear how many had needed rescuing, he said.
Maybe they could have a bunch of Escalades circling around the Brooks Brothers at an outlet mall parking lot next week instead.