NFL Draft Open Thread
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Curious about which exciting young players you might be able to see play for your team as soon as 2022? You will find out tonight! Good roundup here.
I would be remiss in my all internet traditions if I didn’t take this opportunity to note that Bill O’Brien has fired yet more rounds into his dick:
Bill O’Brien already had cut off Houston’s nose to spite its face. Now, he’s chopped off its ear to replace its nose and gouged out its eye to replace its ear. The Texans traded a second-round pick to the Rams on Thursday as part of a package to acquire wide receiver Brandin Cooks, a move that’s less a case of dumb decision-making than a work of sublime performance art. Not often do we get to watch the creation of a masterpiece, but O’Brien’s 2020 offseason ranks right up there with Kanye West’s Hawaii recording sessions on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy or Stanley Kubrick filming 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s transcendent.
Thursday’s move comes less than a month after O’Brien traded superstar receiver DeAndre Hopkins to the Cardinals for a package including a 2020 second-round pick and running back David Johnson. Johnson’s bloated salary makes him more of a liability than an asset, so that deal was essentially a star for a second-rounder in a market where any good receiver should return first-round value. O’Brien put a $5 bill into a vending machine and left with a bag of Baked Lays. By trading a second-rounder for Cooks, O’Brien has turned around and sold his bag of Baked Lays for 75 cents.
In summary, he’s made his team both much worse and more expensive because he was pissed off that a star player made a (perfectly reasonable) request for an extension. Which is exactly why you don’t make coaches general managers unless you have Bill Belichick. Anyway, I’m reminded of the year in elementary school when I let an open-ended project get completely out of control but fortunately the school year was ended early by a teacher’s strike.