Whatcha Watchin’?

If you could use a break from the 50-year slog that is our primary season, how about we talk about my crap taste in television?

There’s not a lot that is must-watch for me these days, and my tastes are all over the place, but here are a few shows that have my attention:

• The Masked Singer. It’s just about as corny as you can possibly imagine and I just freaking love it. Every week, a few celebrities wear elaborate costumes and disguise their voices and sing in front of an audience and panel. (Voices are not disguised while they’re signing, obviously.) Everyone tries to guess the celebrity. It’s all very silly, very over-the-top. The costumes run the gamut from gorgeous to tacky-goofy to gorgeously tacky-goofy and each song number is accompanied by some extraordinarily labored dancing, so no matter what your thing is you’re probably not gonna get bored. The celebrities are ACTUAL celebrities and I find–goddess help me–the panel absolutely delightful, even if Jenny McCarthy is on it. In these trying times, this show just feels like a hug.
• Brooklyn 99. I’ve been a devotee of this show from the first season, but something happened when it moved from FOX to NBC, where it for some bizarre reason, it got even funnier than it was before. Highlights from last year’s memorable season included Lin Manuel Miranda guest-starring as Santiago’s brother and getting into a dance battle with his sister that included dancing “with more forearm.” (Don’t ask, just watch.) And in another episode, Rosa dated a hairstylist, so roughly 30 seconds she showed up to a murder scene in another elaborate wig or hairstyle. This year they’ve upped the ante by having Vanessa Bayer do INSANE cameos on the show as rookie cop, Debbie Fogle. I hope this show never goes off the air.
• Tournament of Champions. One of the reasons I’ve often been tempted to write a post in defense of Guy Fieri is that in an age of shitty cooking competitions that suck the fun out of of cooking and food (for me, at least) he has several shows that just highlight the joys of good cooking and eating, very much including his own Guy’s Ranch Kitchen which is so soothing and fun to watch, because it’s just people cooking–no time limits, no judges, no gross ingredients. So it’s weird that I’m recommending Tournament of Champions, which is essentially just a bracketed cooking competition for celebrity chefs. But dammit, the show is fun and fast-paced and there are NO GROSS INGREDIENTS. One episode in and I’m already hooked.
• Cosmos: Possible Worlds. In the early aughts there was a spate shows on networks like Discovery and The Science Channel that hypothesized about the idea of possible alien worlds with alien life. I was obsessed with them. And then they stopped making them. I don’t know why. I’m hoping that this season of Cosmos (which begins March 9) picks up where they left off.

So, that’s what I’m watching. What are you watching?