HEY LADIES!!!! (GET CHUNKY)

My dude AJ has some helpful advice for you:

How to be a Beautiful Woman

– Be thin
– Be able to cook
– Have long hair
– Wear make-up
– Be feminine
– Be graceful
– Be Sensual
– Shave (should without saying)
– Be fashionable
– Wear pink and feminine colors
– Love men
– Listen to men

Stay classy ladies!

— Alexander J.A Cortes (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019

While there’s lots to like about this list, I feel it’s incomplete, so I’d like to add my own tips, if I may.

-Don’t poop
-Use a horse and carriage to travel
-Save your virginity for Tony Robinson
-Dress modestly–print out 50 pictures of Ben Shapiro and tape them around your body
-Get your hair styled exclusively by sister-wives
-When you give birth, sneeze daintily to express discomfort
-Become a cinephile by enjoying the entire Hallmark Candace Cameron canon
-If you must eat, eat food that nourishes your soul–like adrenochrome