Butts are a Gateway Drug to More Butts

I can’t bear to watch it, but apparently America’s Most Hirsute Pickup Artist has tweeted a video of himself explaining that Cardi B’s buttocks-intensive new video is a plot to make men gay. His reasoning—apparently—is that the emphasis on juicy round buttcheeks instead of juicy round dirty pillows is roundabout way of getting dudes interested in butt stuff, which makes sense because they were pretty much ass-teetotalers until the Cardi B video dropped.

Roosh watched a Cardi B music video and he thinks it's part of a conspiracy to make him gay because there's lots of female butts in it pic.twitter.com/yEzUgiAOnn

— Wild Geerters (@classiclib3ral) January 28, 2019

Anyway, I, for one, think this is all extremely normal and not an indication that Roosh is a deeply damaged man who may be scared he’s not Rock Solid Spots Kurt Schlichter While He Lifts Magnum Level Hetero on the Kinsey scale.