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Movie pitch or Politico piece?

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Photo by Felix Mooneeram on Unsplash

Two men who have twice failed in their bids to become President of the United States combine their powers to form a winning team!

Biden Should Run on a Unity Ticket With Romney.

Last summer, John McCain told the world that he regretted not picking Joe Lieberman, the former senator and Democrat, to be his vice presidential running mate in the 2008 presidential election. A McCain/Lieberman ticket might not have won the White House, but it could have diverted us from the dangerous polarization now plaguing our political system.

Joe Biden should learn from McCain’s regret.

If Biden runs there is zero chance that he will pick an ignorant bag of sentence fragments and bile for a running mate, so this set up is already more than a bit suspicious. Time to scroll down to the bottom so I can figure out what the hell is going on.

Juleanna Glover has worked as an adviser for several Republican politicians, including George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Rudy Giuliani and advised the presidential campaigns of John McCain and Jeb Bush. She is on the Biden Institute Policy Advisory Board.

Ah. OK.

I did read all the bits in the middle and it took me back to my college days. To when I would be at a party and realize the person talking at me so intently and standing a too close and not blinking that much was high as a fucking kite.

Now here’s what Biden should do next: Pick a Republican running mate in a “trans-party” third-party run for the White House.

Should Trump run again, this could be a “break-the-glass” moment for many Americans, creating an opening for a radical departure from our malfunctioning two-party political system. By injecting some ideological innovation into the process, we can break the hidebound precedents of two narrow parties running their ceremonious and illogical nominating process to select a candidate. (Why do Iowa and New Hampshire play such outsized roles? Why do independents, who outnumber both Democrats and Republicans, have only a binary political choice?) The system certainly suffered a critical failure in 2016, with both parties producing terribly flawed candidates in a race to the bottom.

The Democratic primary is shaping up to be cacophonous and chaotic. Biden should capitalize on his status as one of America’s most popular politicians, skip the risk and potential indignities of running and losing in what will be a vicious and mulish, leftward-lurching primary, and slingshot straight to the general election debate stage on a third-party ticket. Biden may not know it, but he is already well-positioned to win a three-way election outright. Here’s how:

Ready? No, you aren’t. Here goes.

  • Run as a third-party candidate with a “principled conservative.” Examples given are Kasich, Sasse or Romney, so I’m not sure how the writer is defining principled.
  • Pledge to serve one term, fix all of the problems the GOP has created in four years, end bitter bipartisan bickering. And then ride off into the sunset on a unity pony.
  • Underpants???Profit!+++Redofromstart+++

And if no candidate secures 270 electoral votes in a three-way race for the White House? The House of Representatives would choose the next president.

In conclusion, let’s move fast and break shit, yaaaah!

Biden said recently that he is willing to “break his neck” to make sure Trump doesn’t serve a second term. That maybe a bit of a malapropism (Biden’s characteristic gaffes are part of his charm), but it’s accurate to say that something may have to be broken to ensure Trump isn’t re-elected—it’s the two-party system.

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