The chief causes of TrumperTantrums: Lawyers, Mondays, uneven paint jobs, surprises, warm woolen mittens that make his hands look small…

People who work with the #WorstPresidentEver and reporters who write about him keep trying to find sense in the nonsense that is the abusive personality. They’re more likely to find a pony in a pile of horseshit.

For Trump, anger serves as a way to manage staff, express his displeasure or simply as an outlet that soothes him. Often, aides and advisers say, he’ll get mad at a specific staffer or broader situation, unload from the Oval Office and then three hours later act as if nothing ever occurred even if others still feel rattled by it.

Saying Slump uses anger to express displeasure circles the point but misses it. Expressing anger can be a normal response to displeasure. Expressing anger to attack people who have little or nothing to do with the cause of anger is abusive. As is being careful to attack people who can’t strike back.

Saying he uses anger to manage employees could be true, if being a dick to one’s employees was an effective management tool. It isn’t, especially when there’s no connection between the outburst and what the employees are doing.

According to people who work with him, here are some things that make the bloviating bludwurst angry:

• He thinks someone is lying to him.
• Negative television coverage.
• Lawyers.
• Being caught by surprise.
• Criticism.
• Someone attempts to control him.
• He believes someone is being disloyal.
• Monday.

Here’s how to convince an abusive egotistical liar who projects like a broken fire hydrant that you aren’t lying to him: Don’t communicate with him. In any way. At all. Ever.

That’s not an option for people around him, so every encounter must be like juggling grenades with loose pins. In the same way, there’s nothing his staff can do to prevent negative television coverage, lawyers, criticism or surprises; four things that come with the job of being president. But that doesn’t matter to the abuser. They’re there, they’re targets.

Trump has also become angry on several occasions with McGahn, sometimes for matters entirely out of his control, such as the investigations into Russia’s interference in the 2016 campaign, or the poorly received rollout of the president’s first immigration and travel ban. That executive order was written by Bannon and senior adviser Stephen Miller and is tied up in the courts.

Other notable targets of the president’s frustrations have included national security adviser H.R. McMaster, former chief of staff Reince Priebus and Spicer, who was often on the receiving end of profane criticisms when Trump did not approve of something as innocuous as the chyrons on the TV news shows he watched.

As an aside, a reasonable person who is driven into a rage by lawyers would arrange his life so that he doesn’t need to have contact with so many of them, numerically speaking. Perhaps by not being such a huge fucking crook. However, the lurker in the White House doesn’t do reasonable. Or intelligent. He does bluster, bigotry and bad ideas.

To say he gets angry when someone tries to control him is very vague, but vagueness is standard when a person’s goal is to lash out at other people. At any rate, it’s obvious he interprets anything less than full-throated support for the noises coming out of his face as criticism, an attempt to control him and disloyal.

The article makes it clear that the putative controller doesn’t necessarily bear the brunt of his anger.

In one stark example, the president’s dislike of being told what to do played a role in his decision to abruptly ban all transgender people from the military: a move opposed by his own defense secretary, James Mattis, and the head of the Coast Guard, who vowed not to honor the president’s decree.

The president had grown tired of White House lawyers telling him what he could and could not do on the ban and numerous other issues such as labor regulations, said one informal White House adviser. While multiple factors were in play with the transgender ban, Trump has grown increasingly frustrated by the lawyers’ calls for further study and caution, so he took it upon himself to tweet out the news of the ban, partly as a reminder to the lawyers who’s in charge, the adviser said.

Mostly as a reminder that they’re working for a total dickhole who makes no effort to control his temper. This man is not decisive, he’s impulsive. And never a nice, Let’s declare today Hug a Puppy Day impulse. It’s Let’s declare today Punch Down Forever impulses all the way.

Even though the article tries to make sense of the senseless and includes some many-sidesing about presidents with bad tempers, it contains a couple of good takeaways.

The first is that the shitty people who enable this shitty president get yelled at for no reason on a regular basis. I hope they wind up with ulcers bigger than their boss’ big ugly denture hole.

The second is that anyone who wants to oppose the DOPUS should take advantage of his easily pressed buttons. To quote a book Racist Bannon and Dr. Seb Gorka, PhD both claim they’ve read “If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him.”

With tRump, that’s as easy as breathing.