Our idiot king’s courtiers

Emperor Tromp’s favorite activities include Tweetertantrumps, golf and fucking with the White House Boot Licking Brigade.

In deciding to abruptly fire FBI Director James B. Comey, President Trump characteristically let himself be guided by his own instincts — fueled by his creeping anger and sense of victimhood about a probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election that he considers a “witch hunt.”

The aftermath is a presidency rocked by its most serious self-inflicted crisis yet, exposing dysfunction and distrust within his West Wing and imperiling his agenda. The momentum for the health-care bill that passed the House is gone, and a week scheduled to be devoted to Trump’s preparations for a high-stakes foreign trip was overtaken by distractions and fury.

Sounds familiar, down to the self-inflicted part. Imagine what fun it will be when there’s an actual crisis.

Across Washington, Trump’s allies have been buzzing about the staff’s competence as well as the president’s state of mind. One GOP figure close to the White House mused privately about whether Trump was “in the grip of some kind of paranoid delusion.”

I don’t understand it! He was always a mean, temperamental, flailing idiot who screws things up, refuses to take responsibility for his mistakes and blames people for the consequences. But then he became a mean, temperamental, flailing idiot who screws things up and then refuses to take responsibility for his mistakes and blames people for the consequences! It was such a shock!

Trump loyalists were particularly upset that Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) organized a news conference Tuesday night and got other Democrats to parrot the same message before a full explanation came out of the White House — despite the fact that the White House controlled every variable of the story.

I can’t wait for the sniveling punditry about the unfairness of Democrats doing anything when tRump stamps on a rake. Maybe they can build on the idea that a coordinated response by the Democratic Party is just Schumer getting Democrats to parrot the same message. Which is not the same as message discipline because it isn’t.

“They were running around like chickens with their heads cut off,” said one White House official. “There was no leadership, no ‘get your troops in a room, and issue orders and execute.’ ”

Yet Trump did not inform Spicer and Dubke of his decision until about an hour before it was announced, keeping them and other senior aides out of the loop because he feared the news might leak prematurely, officials said.

[…]

Spicer and Dubke did not respond to a request for an interview. Their defenders said they were assigned an impossible task of orchestrating on short notice a complete rollout plan — from crafting and distributing talking points to lining up lawmakers, legal experts and other Trump supporters to give interviews.

The Abuser-in-Chief strikes again. Only he knows whether fear of leaks is a post hoc pretext for keeping Spicer and Dubke out of the loop, and it doesn’t  matter. Deciding whether this or that flunky is trustworthy and treating – or mistreating – them accordingly is all part of the fun. Getting angry at other people because his decisions resulted in people milling around because had no idea what the fuck he wanted them to do is also part of the fun.

As is throwing a tantrum because his deciderating wasn’t warmly received by the press.

Privately, Trump has lashed out at the communications office — led by press secretary Sean Spicer and communications director Michael Dubke — and has spoken candidly with advisers about a broad shake-up that could include demotions or dismissals. The president personally has conducted postmortem interviews with aides about the Comey saga, investigating the unending stream of headlines he considers unfairly negative, according to several White House officials who spoke on the condition of anonymity because Trump is cracking down on unauthorized leaks.

Again, this is Ragey the Clown’s reaction to the result of something he planned. And then made worse. The failed business ventures and bankruptcies and becoming toxic to banks and the debt to Russia all suddenly make even more sense. I do wonder how much of it is due to high employee turn over and/or difficulty finding people who are both competent and willing to put up with this shit.

The explanation delivered Tuesday night by Spicer, counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway and deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders — that Trump acted decisively at the recommendation of Rosenstein and Sessions — was discussed with and agreed to by the president himself, officials said.

Trump then changed his story, telling NBC News on Thursday that he made the decision to fire Comey on his own and would have done so “regardless” of Rosenstein’s recommendation.

I bet there was a rush for the bathroom when the aides and enablers heard that one.

And naturally he played golf today. His job is to shit the bed, other people get to clean it up.

I admit that there are times when I’m very nervous about what’s going to happen in this country. Every state controlled by the GOP will be all too happy to implement the pre-fab recommendations of tRump’s Voter Disenfranchisement Commission. I think our best case scenario is a decades-long fight to get this country to something that approaches fair elections.

However, knowing that Republicans are in direct and constant contact with this rampaging bleached dung ball gives me a teeny-tiny warm fuzzy. I hope they all get ulcers the size of truck tires.

Update: author and rebooter of Shakespeare plays Christopher Moore has a plausible explanation.

So maybe this is the strategy: “For a guy to step on his dick this much it must be be yuge, believe me. Look at these giant gloves.”

— Christopher Moore (@TheAuthorGuy) May 14, 2017