Chelsea Clinton’s Scheme to Impose Neoliberalism On the Democratic Party Becomes More Nefarious

First, she wins a meaningless award from a Hollywood trade magazine,* shattering the innocence of Middle Americans. And now her perfidious grasping ambition becomes even more perfidious and grasping:

But in an interview with Variety, Chelsea put an end to rumors that she’s gearing up for a congressional run.

“I am not running for public office,” she said.

She went on, “I really am constantly surprised by the stories of me running for, fill in the blank — Congress, Senate, City Council, the presidency. I find this all rather hysterical, because I’ve been asked this question a lot throughout my life, and the answer has never changed.” Which doesn’t leave much room for interpretation.

Plainly, this is just the beginning of an elaborate plot to RIG the 2020 Democratic Primaries to produce a Hillary/Chelsea ticket, with a promise that Bill will be Secretary of State and receive the first Supreme Court appointment.

I keed, and yet:

@wccubbison @WillCaskey someone just pointed out one of his previous tweets to me and I honestly can't even pic.twitter.com/bOewHjYPjG

— (((Danielle Blake))) (@abradacabla) March 30, 2017

Yes, the only more compelling evidence that Chelsea Clinton is seeking public office than when she does nothing to try to attain public office is when she actively denies trying to seek public office. (At least these obsessive preemptive strikes against imaginary threats to American meritocracy are coming from someone who has surely never benefited from family connections.)

*I love this hypothetical campaign ad from Hogan:

a pair of hands opening a letter, and then crumpling it up. “You needed that Variety Magazine/Lifetime Channel vanity award, and you were the best qualified. But they had to give it to a Clinton so they wouldn’t get murdered and dumped in Fort Marcy Park. Is that really fair?”

When Clinton mounts her inevitable assault on the New Rochelle school board, Barro can finance the ad!