NFL Open Thread: Fire This Asshole! Edition

Let’s check in on Ol’ 7-9, the coach who has had 6 winning seasons in only 22 years and who will be cashing healthy paychecks from the Rams for at least two more years:

Today, the Rams head coach appeared to be using years-old intel to plan Sunday’s game against the Patriots.

When asked about the Patriots’ trio of running backs—the question didn’t mention their names, but they’re LeGarrette Blount, Dion Lewis, and James White—Fisher said, “They’re all different.” He complimented LeGarrette Blount, whom he signed with the Titans as an undrafted rookie, but cut before the regular season. Then, Fisher talked about “Brandon” and “Danny.”

The audio’s here, at about the five-minute mark, if you want to analyze whether Fisher knew he was wrong. Brandon Bolden, who used to play a larger role with the Patriots, has one rush for four yards and two catches for 15 yards this season. Danny Woodhead hasn’t played for the team since 2012. It feels safe to say that “Brandon” and “Danny” do not plan to have major roles in New England’s running game this weekend.

Earlier in the week, he offered a compelling reason for why New Orleans was able to score at will against his high-draft-pick-laden defense — they had extra days to prepare:

Ah, yes. New Orleans played a Thursday game the week before, and therefore had the benefit of more time to dissect the incredibly complex Rams. With those additional days, the Saints could properly prepare for an offense consisting of trying to run Todd Gurley into his linemen’s butts before giving up on that midway through the first quarter, with a sprinkling of poorly executed Tavon Austin plays to fulfill some unknown requirement.

Excuses and Jeff Fisher go together like 7 and 9. First overall pick Jared Goff had an unspectacular debut two Sundays ago in a 14-10 loss to the Dolphins, and Fisher praised Goff’s ability to not get flagged for a delay of game. He spent weeks before that saying bad quarterback Case Keenum wasn’t the reason for the Rams’ defeats. All of these actions are evidence that Fisher is clueless at his job.

Maybe there’s a different explanation for all of these bad moves. What if Fisher is masterful at pretending to be dumb?

The good news for Rams fans, if any, is that there’s a game with Seattle left on the docket, and I assume the ensuing 5-3 LA victory will result in Fisher receiving a lifetime contract.

Elsewhere in the annals of bad coaching, we see Chuck Pagano fall for the old second-rate color guy’s fallacy that good teams win with GROUND AND POUND football because they run for more gross yardage. Of course, total rushing yardage is correlated with winning not because good teams run more effectively but because they run more often for strategic reasons. Anyway, I’m guessing that Grigson wasn’t the only genius in the Colts organization who thought it was a good idea to trade a first round pick for Trent Richardson.

To move up the food chain, the AFC is now really wide open. I assume part of the reason that Belichick gave away Jones and Collins is that he thought his offense was good enough to get to the Super Bowl with an ordinary defense, and that’s become a lot more problematic (although, on the other hand, without Gronk I wouldn’t like New England’s chances of winning anyway, so maybe those draft picks will prove more useful in the end.) And yet, they could still get to the Super Bowl — there really isn’t a team in the conference that’s strong both offensively and defensively. If I were in Vegas I’d be checking out the Super Bowl odds for the generic NFC team carefully, though.