I believe the technical term is “Pwnd!”

Well, the past month has been filled with excitement, hasn’t it? First we learned that an orange white supremacist would be our next president.

Then we got to watch the OWS fulfill our worst expectations about how ill-prepared he was to even fake being a president, while one organization that helped get him elected tried to pretend this was just another day in the U.S.

And now we’ve learned that another organization that helped get him elected was in fact Russia, a country that hasn’t had the best relations with the U.S. for a while. I actually didn’t sleep well last night because I kept trying figure out Why?

My short answer: To strategically fuck with an enemy.

My longer answer: To make it clear to the entire planet that it can – from the comfort of its own home, with sort of plausible deniability and without the risk of being on the receiving an ICBM or 2,000 – get the United States of America, beacon of democracy, most powerful nation in the world, to hit itself in the face with a malevolent clown.

And now, in addition to worrying that they too will be (or have been) made to hit themselves in the face with a clown, the rest of the planet gets to be nervous about what the American malevolent clown will get up to once it is Executive Producer of the United States.

I’ve seen people posit that Russia did this to ensure that the U.S. doesn’t interfere with whatever appalling actions it wants to carry out. This is a perfectly sane analysis, and so while it isn’t wrong, it isn’t complete. When it came to Republican candidates who as president would leave Russia to its own devices (especially if that involved oppressing gay people killing lots of Muslims) and work to undermine the U.N., they were spoiled for choice.

What Russia could only get with President Trump is a president who would automatically and for decades to come, make America an international joke butt while spreading the sort of chaos that only a dimwitted, vindictive id made flesh can spread. I hate to say this; I’m eager to be convinced that I’m wrong, but I think the Russians won this one and in another month plus ten days the U.S. will never be able to respond.

Which is why I call on the U.S. Cyber Command to immediately dump weaponized Rickrolls in computers belonging to Russia’s leadership.