The New Anti-Pornographers

Some days the double entendres just write themselves. Such as when the Utah legislature and Gov. Gary “Pervert” Herbert declare that pornography is a public health hazard and promise to take a long, hard, penetrating look at the threat pornography poses to society, get to the bottom of what’s causing the problem and lick it so it never rears its head in Utah again.

The nonbinding resolution calls for research, education and policy changes “to address the pornography epidemic that is harming the citizens of Utah and the nation.”

You will be shocked to learn the nonBDSMbinding resolution is full of the same lies about porn that the panty police have been flogging since about 10 seconds after someone drew an picture of man with a boner on a cave wall in Lascaux. (The fucking French and their accidental penisings go back a long way.)

“The resolution makes way for a multifaceted approach to solving this crisis, said Pamela Atkinson, the chair of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography board.

“She said the state is worried about 82 percent of sex offenders who started off by viewing pornography.

And I bet 90% of them were right handed! I believe the logical fallacy is known as cherry-picking?

Or maybe it’s the one known as lying through one’s teeth.

“‘They acknowledged they got involved with simple — or soft core porn — years ago,’ she said. ‘It’s not so satisfying anymore and that’s when they move on to the hard core porn. When that is not satisfying any more, they act out on real human beings. They objectify children and young women.'”

Yes that’s right. A group of people said they once saw a softly-lit tit framed by a feather boa … and She Who Rummages under Mattresses & Through Your Search History still has to imply that they said they started raping kids as a result.

Possibly because Atkinson is aware that insisting there’s a link will cause someone to whip out one of the many studies that shows there’s no correlation between the availability of porn and sexual assault.

It’s a delicate line for the Families Against Porn crowd to tread. They want women and (I assume) men who have children, to be good and scared or this shit absolutely will not work.

At the same time, if one runs around shrieking that every man who looks at film of two adults playing hide the gherkin will turn into a drooling rapist, every normal man who has looked at the gherkin video will get pissed off. The rapists, however, will appreciate yet another excuse for their behavior. Debbie Does Dallas made them do it!

The Utah Commission for Upholding Morals does acknowledge that women look at porn, but for some mysterious reason that eludes me at the moment, women aren’t expected to start assaulting anything that moves. Instead they become passive sex toys for the porn-crazed men.

Got it! The reason is the entire point of this exercise is to reinforce the patriarchal attitudes that do pose a risk to women and children. And probably make a few bucks while looking at dirty books and videos. (As an aside, this is one of the many reasons I’ve never gotten the willingness of some radical feminists to join forces with the neo-cons to fight porn. However, there’s a slight chance they’ll all wind up locked in the same room together and someone will lose the key, so I don’t object. I just don’t get it.)

Legions of men shuffling around with their pants around their ankles as they moan “Boooooobs” aren’t the only thing Utah is worried about. Porn also makes the young fellas not want to get married, and when they do get married, they aren’t happy.

WHEREAS, pornography use is linked to lessening desire in young men to marry, dissatisfaction in marriage, and infidelity;

The weight bearing capacity of “is linked to” is impressive, but it is starting to show some hairline cracks.

And I can see why young men not wanting to get married is a concern in a state with the youngest average age for newlyweds. Why, they might start waiting until they’re the hoary age of 28 and then women might start waiting until they’re 26. And the next thing you know absolutely nothing bad has happened and the Committee to Re-examine Explicit Animated Media & Pornography Investigation Executive will have to find something else to do.

Merci to Trumpeter against Trump efgoldman for the heads up.

The following video contains naughty words, don’t click at work, in front of small children or in the state of Utah.