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Dear H. Clinton

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I read your statement on the Trump rally that wasn’t.

I’m a little concerned that if a family member is murdered by a racist I will not be able to melt hearts in a statehouse and get a flag removed, which I didn’t know would be required of me, thanks for the heads up. (And do you perhaps mean the bond hearing that took place in a court house?)

As an aside, and perhaps this is not very gracious of me, but if nine black people have to be gunned down in a church by a non-uniformed racist and then their families have to behave in a way that causes [certain] people to clasp their hands before their breast and say “Aawww,” in order to get an traitor’s flag removed, that is not what I would call a victory.

However, to my question:

I don’t think I’d be able to melt hearts by methods that are currently viewed as acceptable. So could I use a flame thrower instead?

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