Tetch Writing
By 
Britain’s Lowest-Budget Edward Cullen, Milo Yiannopoulos, is spreading his wings and–apparently–writing “tech” articles for Breitbart “News.” I say “tech” because Milo is as qualified to write articles on the tech industry as I am qualified to write about, say, 18th century opera, which is to say, not at all. So I’m expecting Breitbart to offer me a position heading their 18th Century Opera section any minute now.
Anyhoo, Milo’s foray into “tech” is going exactly well as you’d expect it to. Two sample titles from his articles?
APOSEMATISM MAY EXPLAIN WHY SO MANY ANGRY WOMEN HAVE BLUE HAIR
MEET THE SHE-E-OS: WHY DO SO MANY FEMALE TECH CEOS TURN OUT TO BE DISAPPOINTMENTS OR FRAUDS?
Admittedly these are both terrific titles, but I think Milo can do better. If he really wants to get peepers on his “tech” “articles” I think he should up the ante and go with stuff like:
WHAT DARK SORCERY CAUSES WOMEN TO BLEED SEVEN DAYS A MONTH?
COOTIES: IT’S TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LIBERAL WOMEN ARE CARRIERS
WOMEN IN TECH: ALWAYS WITH THE BREATHING AND HAVING OPINIONS AND SUCH
Come on, let’s all help Milo! Create your own “tech” headline in the comments.