Addressing the Nation’s Most Important Issue

Friends, we have a lot of serious problems in this nation. But none are more serious than the abuse of Beetle Bailey by Sarge. Luckily, a cranky old soldier is on it, through the classic communication method of the old crank, the letter to the editor:

As a retired member of the U.S. military I am concerned about the impression left by the cartoon “Beetle Bailey” carried by your paper. Readers of the cartoon could possibly get the impression from the cartoon that it is acceptable for a senior noncommissioned officer (as depicted by Sarge) to physically assault a junior enlisted man.

It seems that quite often the story line of the cartoon depicts Sarge brutalizing or threatening to brutalize Beetle. I am aware that the cartoon has been around for quite some time and it was based on the U.S. Army during the time frame of around the Second World War, but even then, it was something not sanctioned or tolerated by the military. If any concerned family members were to take the actions depicted in these supposedly funny frames as the norm in the U.S. military, then the Walker family is doing a disservice to our military members.

I certainly wouldn’t encourage any son or daughter of mine to become a member of such an organization. The truth of the matter is that any officer or noncommissioned officer found to be physically abusive to a junior enlisted man would be up on charges and, at a minimum, demoted if not removed from the service. I am sure that there have been instances of abuse at times in the military service, but the habitual abuse depicted in the cartoon would not have been tolerated. When Gen. George Patton slapped an enlisted man back in World War II it caused an outrage that almost ended his career.

If the Walkers can’t find a different story line for their cartoon, maybe they should end it. In my years in the military I never met a senior staff NCO or an officer who didn’t treat junior enlisted men with anything but care and concern. Even when trying to push men to test their ability to withstand pressure that nowhere near replicated combat, which included plenty of pressure and loud voices, it never included the kind of beatings that are commonplace in the cartoon “Beetle Bailey.” Hopefully readers recognize this as fiction.

I mean, I think this cartoon should end too, but that’s because it’s been horrible for 25 years, like almost everything else on the comics page, not because of cartoon violence. But it is pretty clear that cartoon violence does lead to real life violence. That’s why all those years of watching Itchy and Scratchy on the Simpsons has led me to wrap my brother’s intestines around a rocket and shoot him to the moon and why today’s military routinely has noncoms beating loafing privates who pull their hats down too far over their heads. Won’t somebody think about the children?