The Help Every Republican Candidate Deserves
By An aide for the Republican cannon fodder in the upcoming Senate race in New Jersey has some very Republican analysis to offer:
In a profanity-filled assessment of the race delivered via phone Thursday, Rick Shaftan, a senior staffer and key strategist on Lonegan’s campaign, suggested voters would be turned off by Booker’s “odd” behavior including Twitter messages the Democrat sent to a stripper, that Shaftan described as “strange” and “like what a gay guy would say.”
“It was just weird. I mean, to me, you know, hey, if he said, ‘Hey, you got really hot breasts man, I’d love to suck on them.’ Then like, yeah, cool. But like, he didn’t say that,” Shaftan explained. “It was like kind of like, I don’t know, it was like what a gay guy would say to a stripper. It’s the way he was talking to her. It’s just like like there was no sexual interest at all. I don’t know. To me, if I was single and you know like some stripper was tweeting me, I might take advantage of the perks of the office, you know?”
Sexism, gaybaiting,overwhelming douchiness — it’s the GOP triple crown! And now, the punchline:
After his extensive, X-rated breakdown of the Booker campaign, Shaftan had a more prosaic take on Lonegan’s position heading into the final days of the race.
“Where are we in the home stretch?” Shaftan asked. “Surging.”
If the Surging Shaftan isn’t running a campaign firm with Dick Morris by next year I just don’t know America anymore.