Faith. Family. Friends. Farts.
By I don’t mean to get all Andy Rooney on your asses, but have you ever been looking at a home goods catalog or website and stumbled across a plaque or pillow with an inane sentiment on it? I have and it enrages me.
In a catalog I get you can order chair covers that say “laugh,” “dream,” “share,” and “family.” Now, I’m not sure how one “families,” but I bet it involves sitting next to people who look like you and looking wholesome while playing a beloved board game. But who knows? For some people it may involve sitting next to people who look like you and getting into screaming fights about politics and who gets the last crescent roll. Far be it from me to tell you how to family.
But the most egregious example of this sort of artful inanity is the plaque that says “Happiness is a choice.” ORLY? Happiness is a choice? Aside from that being something that sounds like someone burped it out their butt–yes, BURPED out their BUTT–it’s just fucking nonsense. Happiness is not a choice for, say, someone suffering from depression or another serious and/or chronic illness. Or someone who is poor. Or someone who reads interviews with Ben Shapiro and blogs about it.
What’s funny is that –at the private sales sites– these examples of what I call “word barf” are frequently sold out. Depressing.
Wait. I would totally buy a pillow that had “Word barf” on it.