But Enough about War and Reproductive Rights–Let’s Talk about Me

Before I left Rhode Island a couple of months ago, I had begun working on a piece. I finally finished it yesterday. I was excited to upload it to my gallery, mainly because it’s just been so darn long since I’ve gotten to see the fruits of my passion…but also a little because I always hope my pieces will be received with a bit of fanfare. Anyway, what’s the opposite of fanfare? Murderjoy? Well, my piece got lots of murderjoy.

I don’t know if the lackluster reaction is because I haven’t been around for so long people have stopped watching my account or what. Whatever the reason, it’s bothering me more than I’d like. And something about the idea of a grown-ass adult checking a website dominated by people in their teens and twenties for “Favorites” strikes me as unseemly. I’m like “Why do you care? Isn’t just being creative enough?”  Not quite, I guess.

I occupy a weird space on the site that hosts my gallery. I’m somewhat popular, I have the respect of many of the best digital artists out there, I’ve received more than my fair share of attention and glory, I’ve been published many times…but I never seem to get quite the panty-throwing reaction that some of the site’s most popular digital artists get. And I don’t know why that is. It’s tempting to believe that THE PEOPLE ARE FOOLS WHO DON’T RECOGNIZE GENIUS, but the truth is that some of the most popular artists are also incredibly innovative and talented and creative and just in general marvipoo. And sometimes it’s tempting to believe that I’m just not that good. That I’ve never reached the zenith of popularity because my stuff just isn’t beautiful or evocative. But there’s lots of stuff out there that’s not as creative or pretty or as finely-wrought as mine that’s loads more popular.

I don’t know. It’s a mystery I never stop trying to solve. If nothing else, it keeps me passionate and humble.