Insert Appalachian Trail Joke Here: ______________________.

I was not the least bit surprised by Sanford’s win yesterday. It’s cute, really, that people think that the party of “family values” used the “family values” screech as anything other than a bludgeon to keep Democrats/liberals on the defensive, that they really thought Republican voters would vote for Colbert-Busch because they were presumably disgusted by Sanford’s behavior.  But it’s now crystal clear that the moral code conservatives professed to love and live by was nothing but a cynical rally cry that was superseded with mindless tribalism every damn time one of their own was caught doing naughty things with their throbbing bulbous parts.

There comes a point when, if you’d like to claim you are a strict adherent to a bibically-based moral code that informs your love and sex life, that you must actually live by that code. And time after time after time, conservatives have proven they simply are not living by this code. And their constituents–who absolutely purport to live by this same code–reward them for their sexy, sexy behavior.

But in the end, you can pretty much get away with murder so long as you say you’re a member of the right tribe. Hell, it’s ok to be gay, as long as you’re self-loathing. It’s ok to go flitting about the globe, sticking your dick into every willing or unwilling hole, so long as Jesus says he forgives you.

Roy Edroso scooped me on this. I got up all wee-weed up and ready to Win the Headlines this morning by pointing out something that anyone with a quarter of their brain in their head already knows: That conservative politicians and voters are mind-blowingly hypocritical . Well, apparently the hypocrisy is so ubiquitous and blatant than even NRO Cruise superstars have been forced to address it, albeit–in Jonah Goldberg’s case–in the most obnoxious way possible.

AND I QUOTE:

It’s absolutely true that conservatives need to wrestle with the question of what we should expect from our politicians. But I’m not sure liberals have anything worth listening to on the subject.

Keep fucking that chicken, conservatives. I’m sure your constituents/readers will forgive you for it.