Do you want me to strangle this kitten? Because I will…
By … and it’ll be on you.
Late at night in the Inland Empire runs a commercial for a car dealership (or some related industry) in which a man in the throes of a late-mid-life crisis cradles a puppy while informing viewers that, if they don’t purchase whatever it is he’s selling, he won’t be able to donate to the local animal shelters.* The threat is as unambiguous as it is unsettling. I would doubt that any conservative who isn’t continuing to stalk and harass me would stoop to such lows, but then Robert Stacy McCain reminds me that my bog-standard expectations are insufficiently boggy:
Have you ever hit Da Tech Guy’s tip jar? I have and you should. Have you ever contributed to the Protein Wisdom monthly fund drive? I have and you should. And how about hitting Jimmie Bise’s tip jar? Are you some kind of Commie bolshevik pinko sympathizer, or are you gonna do something to help these guys in the fight?
I’m not going to help fund amateur shadow-boxers, because I have no interest in watching grown men punching dark bits on the wall they mistake for Obama. Or at least, I wasn’t going to until McCain informed me of the alternative:
If powerful Malaysian interests had been willing to pay $400,000 to obtain the services of a natural-born smartass, how quickly would I have cashed that check? Immediately.
Would I drop Jeff Goldstein a few bucks to buy a gun to match his ammunition if it meant I wouldn’t have so many friends and relatives reading the pay-for-play nonsense of tyrannical regimes? Given that they seem to be as helpless as hostage puppies before talk radio’s nonsense, I can’t say I’m not tempted. If we have to pay conservatives to be truthful, however remotely, maybe that’s just the price of democracy these days. Who’s to say we shouldn’t just pay it?
*I can’t find a video of this on Youtube, but if any of you can, I’d be forever obliged. I’d love to use it in my class.