I hate children. They have too many notes.*
By SEK’s apartment complex just installed a basketball court right next to his apartment. SEK thinks this is awesome because he finds shooting basketballs to be a zen-like activity. So at 8 a.m. SEK takes his basketball and shoots around for an hour.
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
FOURTH GRADER #1 enters the court.
SEK: (shoots)
SEK: (gathers rebound)
FOURTH GRADER #1: Pass me the ball, would you?
SEK: (passes the ball)
FOURTH GRADER #1: (airballs)
SEK: (gathers rebound and shoots)
FOURTH GRADER #1: Hey! It was still my shot!
SEK: (passes the ball) Sorry about that.
FOURTH GRADER #1: (airballs)
FIFTH GRADER #1 appears on the court.
FIFTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound and shoots) SKRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: Where did you come—
FOURTH GRADER #2 joins him.
FOURTH GRADER #2: (gathers rebound and looks around) PRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: Where did you—
As does THIRD GRADER #1.
FOURTH GRADER #2: (passes to THIRD GRADER #1) FRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
THIRD GRADER #1: (fumbles pass) KRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!
SEK: (gathers ball and shoots)
Some INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL must have been opened because…
FIFTH GRADER #2: Quit hogging the ball!
THIRD GRADER #2: (gathers rebound and airballs) BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!
FIFTH GRADER #3: (gathers rebound and airballs) NNNNNAAAAAAAAAA!
FOURTH GRADER #3: (gathers rebound and airballs) MMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!
SEVENTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound) SLLLLLAAAAAMMMMM! (not even close)
SIXTH GRADER #1: (gathers rebound and runs away with ball) TRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!
SEK: Come back here!
SIXTH GRADER #1: (throws ball into fence) TRRRRROOOOOOOOOO! (runs away)
SEK: (gathers ball and makes to leave the court)
ALL THE CHILDREN: HEY! COME BACK WITH OUR BALL!
SEK: It’s my ball!
ALL THE CHILDREN: HE’S STEALING OUR BALL!
SEK: IT’S MY BALL! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHERE YOU CAME FROM!
ALL THE CHILDREN: THAT’S OUR BALL! IT HAS OUR NAME ON IT!
SEK: YOUR NAME IS “SPALDING NBA”?
ALL THE CHILDREN: IS YOURS?
SEK declines to answer their question and walks away. He realizes that if he stayed out any longer he’d look like a creepy old man who shouldn’t be playing basketball with children anyway. But since SEK lives right next to the basketball court, he walks the long way back to his apartment lest ALL THE CHILDREN realize which porch is his and decide to play Eschaton with the many plants on it.