No such thing as bad publicity
By 
I’d like to think that if you — like Derek the Abstinence Clown — were made of undiluted awesome, you’d rejoice in the opportunity to sow your seed prodigiously, especially if your message consists of the uplifting argument that premarital sex is like being dismembered by machete blades.
I don’t get it. I mean, Ann Althouse just explained the other day that because a lot of high school kids are still virgins, we really can’t be certain — aside from the reassurances of science — that abstinence education doesn’t work. I find it entirely plausible that someone might view the abstinence clown show and then not get laid for a while. The iron law of post hoc applies here, I’m pretty sure. I can’t pretend to understand why Derek Dye wouldn’t want to take advantage of it.