Earmarks! Get your earmarks!

For starters, I’ll simply vow that if the essence of this campaign distills down to earmarks — and if that becomes the McCain-Palin route to victory — I will join the Alaska Independence Party and immediately press for my state’s secession and reabsorption by Canada.

Meantime, in related news, my governor is still a fraud:

Senator John McCain recently told reporters that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has “learned that earmarks are bad.”

But not that bad, apparently. According to a “summary of requests for federal appropriations” posted to her budget office’s website earlier this year, Palin requested millions of federal dollars for everything from improving recreational halibut fishing to studying the mating habits of crabs and the DNA of harbor seals.

I suppose it almost goes without saying that Palin’s office will be requesting funds to study how a successful abstinence-only curriculum can be incorporated into the education of crabs. I suppose it also goes nearly without saying that the harbor seals will have to pay for their own DNA kits.