The Nice Guy Cometh

This pathetic lament received an approving link from Dr. Mrs. Ole Perfesser, which probably is about all we need to know before proceeding.

Still:

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

The whole thing descends into a vindictive and childish rant, the basic point of which is to insist that unresponsive women turn nice men into assholes who finally learn how to get laid. No, really.

All that said, the post nevertheless gives me the chance to quote this apt description of the psychology of the Nice Guy(tm):

The ones I’ve actually talked with (generally whining on the internet about how they can’t get a girlfriend) seem to have this notion of Woman As Vending Machine / Arcade Game. If they just figure out which buttons to push, then Woman will Put Out. And they’re pushing the buttons that they’re supposed to, but Woman is not lighting up the right little “Score!” buttons. That asshole over there is pushing buttons and lighting the whole system up! Damnit, this Woman is broken! They tried up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-stat, too, did someone give them the wrong cheat code? The last woman said that she liked this, why doesn’t this woman respond to it?

None of the Nice Guys I’ve ever tried to talk to seem capable of believing that women aren’t issued with a standard cheat code that will open them up to whoever gets the button sequence right. And the cheat code is Their Right, Dammit. The woman is incidental.

Which I suspect explains why Nice Guys(tm) are probably better off with their hands in their pants.

….more at SN!, where Bradrocket even agrees with Ace of Spades on something….