The One Percent Doctrine, Creationist Edition
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Conservapedia, from which Sam Brownback learns about all matters scientifical, continues to bring joy and good tidings to a world hungry for more bullshit. Here, Alex Beam of the Boston Globe learns a little more about baramins, by way of the ‘roo:
Their entry on kangaroos, for instance, says that, “like all modern animals . . . kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah’s Ark prior to the Great Flood.”
You may not recognize the word “baramin.” It’s a 20th-century creationist neologism that refers to the species God placed on earth during Creation Week. Special for kids: I wouldn’t use that word on the biology final. Although maybe your parents could sue the local school board for failing to teach the Book of Genesis in science class.
More on Conserva-kangaroos: “After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart, or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.”
I must concede that the idea of ancient kangaroos guiding a turfy armada to Australia is nearly sufficient to change my mind about evolution.
On a side note, I’ve found that Noah’s Ark: A Feasibility Study also clears up a lot of lingering confusion over how eight humans cared for thousands of baramin couples; how the freshwater fish managed to survive along with their saltwater cousins; and how the animals avoided the “hazards” of inbreeding. [Pictured above: Kangaroo defending his sister’s honor — and the integrity of his baramin.]
Oh, yeah, there’s also a blog about baraminology. It’s just about as informative as it sounds.