"That’s because all my expereiences with Colonel Angus end in embarrassment"
By Further evidence that conservative male bloggers are lazy ignoramuses in the sack:
Via Sadly, No!, we read about the latest installment of what Roy Edroso has called Ace O. Spades, Heterosexual. In a post about “how to tell if your husband is gay,” Ace declares himself no friend of Colonel Angus:
Eh, a lot of guys don’t dig [cunnilingus]. Who the hell knows what’s going on down there. It’s like H.R. Geiger giving up ink and canvas to work in the avant-garde medium of Play-Doh and bacon.
All this reminds me of Dan Savage’s notorious observation — which he later admitted was quite stupid and sexist — about vaginas looking like “canned ham dropped from the 23rd story of the Empire State Building.” Savage, of course, conceded later on that he wrote that line because — well, he’s gay and doesn’t quite know what the fuck he’s talking about when it comes to female genitalia. Not that that reveals anything latent about Ace, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him somewhere before:
To play the counterfactual scenario here, imagine for a moment what Mr. Spades and the wingnuttosphere would do with a woman — let’s say a young feminist blogger — who wrote the following:
Eh, a lot of women don’t like fellatio. Who the hell knows what’s going on down there. It’s like I.M. Pei giving up stone and steel to work in the avant-garde medium of summer sausage and fungus.
It’s fair to say that the reaction would inspire grotesque arias of misogyny, with Spades’ commenters — who really are making spectacles of themselves in this post — leading the way, arms churning like Masturbating Bear in a room full of underwear models. Then, of course, Althouse would chime in with something dippy and offensive to draw the attention toward herself and away from Mr. Frightened-By-Vaginas, and pretty soon we’d be arguing about “Vagina Blogging” and whether anyone should bring a vagina within 30 feet of Bill Clinton.
Sheeyit. Now isn’t the time to get into specifics with The Todd Ace, but really — if you genuinely don’t know what you’re doing when it comes to these sorts of things, you’d do well not to admit it.