Epstein wants to leave the Big House for his big house [Update]

If Jeffrey Epstein must put up with this “trial” nonsense, he would like to do it from the comfort of his NYC mansion, thank you very much. Especially since investigators may not have found all of his stashes of nude pictures.

In a motion filed on Thursday, Epstein’s lawyers asked District Judge Richard Berman to allow Epstein to wait out his pretrial proceedings at his opulent Upper East Side townhouse, where authorities recently found a trove of photos of underage girls. The attorneys laid out 14 conditions for Epstein’s stay there, including that he be fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet, that he unregister his private jet (the horror!), that he only leave the residence for medical appointments, and more.

To show what a cooperative, innocent and not at all disgusting criminal he is, Epstein agreed to wear an ankle bracelet and even offered to pay for guards who he will pay to make sure he doesn’t do anything bad.

This is what they call a bold move, and not just because the judge presiding over the case has already said no to house arrest avec private guards in a case where the defendant was not accused of abusing minors. What makes the move especially bold is the attempt to argue that economic class is a protected class – at least for the upper class – and not letting rich people stay in their homes is richist.

But Epstein’s lawyers argue that Berman’s decision in that case raised “equal protection” concerns, unduly punishing the rich simply because they happen to be rich.

Because the law, in its majestic equality, allows the rich as well as the poor to pay for their own guards while they’re under house arrest.

[Update] It is past time for the giant Iranian goat-eating cockroaches.

Jeffrey Epstein, the financier facing sex-trafficking charges in New York, was accused of witness tampering on Friday by federal prosecutors, who said he wired $350,000 to two people who were potential witnesses against him.

[…]

The prosecutors said Mr. Epstein wired $250,000 to one of his employees and $100,000 to a second person. Both were identified in the government’s memorandum as possible co-conspirators.