Now I’m losing touch with reality and I’m almost out of blow
By 
The show runners aren’t even pretending to try to keep this thing even mildly realistic any more:
The coin commemorating the now-canceled meeting between President Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un went on sale Thursday — and with it, crashed the website for the White House gift shop.
The commemorative coin — which features the names and silhouettes of Trump and Kim, the names of their respective countries and the phrase “Peace Talks” — was first revealed Monday.
Four days later, the meeting was canceled. But don’t fear, if you still want your own copy, the White House gift shop is still selling the coins — now at a lower price.
The coins, originally marked at $24.95, were lowered to $19.95 as the “deal of the day” on the website. Shortly after Trump announced the Singapore meeting had been called off, the gift shop website crashed and links brought customers to a “service unavailable” or “server too busy” page.
Another cocaine-inspired 3 AM brainstorm was to have the White House’s own lawyer present at a “top secret” Congressional briefing regarding the FBI’s investigation of the Vladimir Putin Fan Club, Washington DC branch. And just for kicks they put the White House chief of staff in there too:
The White House attorney responsible for handling its response to Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia probe was spotted heading into two Justice Department briefings Thursday for lawmakers on a reported “informant” the FBI used in its investigation of the Trump campaign.
Emmet Flood was spotted at the Justice Department, where Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and other DOJ officials were scheduled to brief House Speaker Paul Ryan, House Intel Chairman Devin Nunes and House Oversight Chairman Trey Gowdy. Rep. Adam Schiff, the top Democrat on the Intel Committee, also attended the noon briefing, after initial reports that only Republican lawmakers were invited. White House Chief of Staff John Kelly also reportedly attended at least part of the briefing.
Hey kids, if you’re looking for more ideas, why not have Trump call his own wife by another woman’s name when he welcomes her home from the hospital with an intimate message posted on his 70-million follower twitter feed?
Or if you really want to go completely nuts, here’s a potential story line about a Playmate, an abortion, a $1.6 million bribe, a convicted child molester, and a guy who literally bribes politicians for a living chairing the RNC Finance (of course!) Committee with his co-chair . . . oh who gives a fuck any more, make it Michael Cohen.