Lady Doritos

Lady Doritos, crumbs upon her feet;
Wonders what it is she’s allowed to eat.

In a recent interview with WNYC’s Freakonomics, Nooyi discussed the different ways that men and women eat chips. Men “lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom,” Nooyi said.

“Women would love to do the same, but they don’t,” she continued. “They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”

It’s odd because what Nooyi describes as male Dorito-eating habits is what I had always assumed was the standard, genderless Dorito-eating habit.

But I’ve only ever seen people eating Doritos in the wild. I can imagine that in a controlled environment such as a room with people watching their every move, women might be more self-conscious about how they attack a bag of chips. Because despite the fact that we’ve been on the planet the same amount of time as men, the idea that it is perfectly normal for women to eat and enjoy doing so, rather than draw sustenance from the air, is one that this so-called civilization still grapples with.

This is why many food commercials aimed at women seem to imply that the act of eating a cup of yogurt is as sinfully enjoyable as the act of having sex with half the cast of The Thunder Down Under while hard-working, soft-bodied husband is taking a nap in the next room.

Personally, I think the world could stand a 110% reduction in the Let’s Make Women Skittish About Consuming Food action for the next eon. However, I’m also aware that exploiting women’s insecurities is a multi-billion dollar industry and that ladylike food isn’t a new concept. But somehow, purse-friendly snacky chips for the ladies seems particularly stupid.

It’s not a male and female as much as ‘are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?’ And yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon. For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse.”

Lady Doritos, crumbs upon her breast;
Wonders if it’s OK to eat the rest.

As an aside – someone on Twitter said the jingle for Lady Doritos should be set to Lady Madonna. My apologies to everyone for my attempt.