It’s a Werewolf Bar Mitzvah! Spooky! Scary!

I apologize in advance if you really thought this post was going to be a werewolf Bar Mitzvah. It’s actually going to be about my clearing the cobwebs out of my head and putting fingers to keyboard so I can assemble a list of the best horror of the past few years.

Horror is a genre justifiably gets a lot of guff. Let’s face it: there’s so much of it out there, and so little of it is any good. But I love the it, so I am always searching for examples of its excellence. Here are my favorite horror movies of the past few years (or so) in no particular order.

I’m starting with three French films. So apparently at some point, the Japanese were like “Hey. We’re gonna mess with your minds and make you look at completely unwatchable stuff. And then you’ll thank us and come back for more.” And the French were like, “That’s poppycock. We’re here to prove that we are the most deranged, perverted people on the planet.” And then they set about proving just that.

1.) High Tension–This film about a couple of young women who are embroiled in a fight against an extraordinarily creepy spree killer is tight, scary, face-paced and unbearably suspenseful. Sure, there’s plot twist that is nearly unforgivable, but you might be tempted to forgive it only because this film absolutely, 1000% lives up to its name.

2.) The Ordeal–This film about a man who is stranded in a small Belgian town–where oddly only men reside– really only qualifies as  horror because it succeeds in creating this stiflingly bizarre atmosphere. There are no ghosts or serial killers here; you just want the protagonist to ESCAPE. Immediately.

3.) Martyrs–Many people consider this one of the most disturbing horror films in recent memory. I think I agree. What’s unique about “Martyrs” is that it almost reads as three different kinds of film: a brutal revenge flick, a supernatural horror film, and torture porn. I think the first two thirds of the film are brilliant, shocking…a gut-punch to the senses. But while I feel the film’s big reveal and final third are fairly disappointing, there’s no denying that it all stays with you. Longer than you wish it would. No spoilers. Watch it if you dare.

4.) The Hills Have Eyes–I went to see this remake in the theater by myself. While I found myself wishing I had had a companion, I was also sort of giddy about the experience. Honestly, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And it wasn’t just it was the most compelling, creepy, scary movie I’d ever seen about a family of repulsive, raping, murderous inbred mutants. It was the fact that someone had actually made a movie about repulsive, raping, murderous inbred mutants that was beautifully-filmed, beautifully-paced and well-acted, complete with characters I really cared about. It feels weird saying “More please…” but more please.

5.) The Descent–It’s hard for me not to gush about “The Descent.” When I first saw it I so blown away I immediately rewatched it with the addition of the director’s commentary. The thing about this movie is that you keep thinking there’s a twist. You keep thinking it’s all a dream. It can’t be this straightforward tale of six adventurous women–two with an interesting back story– who get trapped in a cave with…well, let’s say say…creatures who have adapted to their environment. But it is that straightforward, and it is so claustrophobic, so creepy,  and so compelling. I LOVE “The Descent!”

6.) Insidious–When I put this in the DVD player, I had a big eyeroll ready and waiting. After all, as I will tell anyone who will listen, “PG-13 horror movies are LAME.” Heh. Go ahead and rent or stream this “lame” little horror movie. You’ll need to rewind to make sure you’re not seeing things. After all, you wouldn’t want to miss one creepy detail, would you? Would you?

7.) The Ring–After I saw this movie about a VHS tape that supposedly proceeds the watcher’s death, I would not use my DVD player for a week. Let me repeat that: I would not use my DVD player for a week. True story. My idiocy, not “The Ring.”

And now it’s your turn: Which horror movies have you watched that stayed with you?