Greatest Troll Ever

So other than Farley, I am probably the most anti-troll person here and I probably delete more troll comments than he does. But RICK VENEMA, COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA is so special and so awesome. Really, he transcends other trolls. Then in comments Belle Waring wondered if he was just posing. I don’t know. So I googled “Rick Venema, Colonial Heights, Virginia.” And this is what I found:

To the Editor:

A few years ago, Will Ferrell starred in the Movie “Anchorman.” In the title role of Ron Burgundy, Ferrell played an arrogant, macho, narcissistic news anchor in San Diego during the 1970s, fawned upon by his peers in the media, groupies and an admiring public. Ron’s supremacy is challenged by Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) who discovers Ron’s weakness: he will report anything – anything – that his teleprompter offers him. Veronica exploits that weakness and compels Ron to insult his viewing audience in such a vulgar manner that he is fired and disgraced. But, because he followed the teleprompter’s instruction, he was oblivious while everyone around him in the broadcast studio was stunned and horrified. The movie is hilarious, largely because it is totally absurd.

I was recently reminded of the fictitious Ron Burgundy when the actual president of the United States, Barack Obama, recited his teleprompter before the American Society of Newspaper Editors at a luncheon in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday, April 3, 2012, and accused the Republican-controlled House of Representatives of attempting “to impose a radical vision on our country” through the budget proposal it passed.

Admittedly, the list of gaffes uttered by the most brilliant man in the word during his role as president of the United States is too extensive to compile here, so let’s just look at this single example. Did he actually accuse the Republican House members of trying to “to impose a radical vision on our country”? This from the same man who said, prior to his coronation, that “We are five days away from fundamentally transforming America”? This is an accusation the pot is ill-advised to hurl at the kettle.

I am left with a predicament. I can’t decide if Barack Obama is the embodiment of evil; i.e., the Red Skull, Dr. Evil and Auric Goldfinger rolled into one, or is he simply Ron Burgundy? If he’s Ron, who is programming his teleprompter? And, regardless whether he is Vlad the Impaler reincarnate or simply an arrogant blithering buffoon, why would anyone in their right mind entrust the presidency of the United States of America to him for four more years?

Rick Venema

Colonial Heights

Oh man. This is just brilliant. Real or an act, this is a work of art.

This is Erik Loomis, saying Go Fuck Yourself Colonial Heights.